Parenting Principles

  • Discipline years: age 0-5
  • Training years: age 6-12
  • Coaching years: age 12-18
  • Friendship years: age 18+  This period lasts for 40-50 years & the first 18 set the foundation
  • 3 non-negotiables that require discipline: disobedience, dishonesty, disrespect
  • 2 Commandments: 1. Thou shall not lie 2. Thou shall honor your mother
  • The worst thing you can do is tell a lie because lying breaks trust in the relationship
  • We want our children to want to be with us and with each other when they have a choice
  • We as a couple want to enjoy being together after our children our gone
  • Parenting: who you are matters more than what you do
  • Your child’s character hinges on the traits you exhibit as a parent
  • Daily prayer: Lord, give me wisdom to know the right things to do & courage to do them.
  • Be the kind of man I want my sons to be and want my daughter to marry
  • The greatest gift you can give your kids is a healthy marriage
  • Build up your spouse 24/7 in front of your kids
  • Avoid building a child-centered family.  God first, Spouse second, Kids third.
  • Discipline with the goal of preserving your relationship not for preserving your reputation
  • Rules without relationship lead to rebellion
  • Apologize to your kids when you are wrong.
  • Don’t bail let them fail.  Let kids learn from their failure just like they will all through life.
  • Be in love with Christ and focus on your relationship with Him
  • View life through God’s agenda—The Great Commission (Matthew 28:16-20) and The Great Commandment (Matthew 22:37-38)
  • Give thanks to God in all things.  1 Thes. 5:18
  • How to grow as a follower of Christ
  • Surrender to the authority of Christ
  • Be faithful in the little things.  Luke 16:10
  • We exist to serve and glorify God
  • Love people and believe the best about others.  1 Cor 13:7
  • Lavishly express grace & forgiveness to others.  Show a lot of grace because we need a lot of grace.
  • The only thing that matters is faith expressed through love. Galatians 5:6
  • The importance of prayer.  James 5:14-16
  • How to handle temptation.  Christ in me is stronger than the wrong desires in me.
  • How to handle adversity.  Understand God uses all circumstances to make us like Jesus
  • Seeking wisdom—skill in everyday living. Knowing how to make good decisions.
  • Growth mindset vs. Fixed mindset.  On a long enough time-line I can learn anything.
  • Become a life-long learner; understand that learning is the key to unlocking your potential.
  • You become like the five people you hang out with the most.
  • Stay humble, teachable and coachable all of your life
  • Obtain Godly counsel.  Proverbs 12:15
  • The importance of flexibility and adaptability to cope in life.  Philippians 4:11-13
  • Zero tolerance for discipline in anger
  • Tug of war concept.  Teach your kids that God wants us to have friendships with believers and non-believers.  If you are in a relationship with a non-believer and they are pulling you in their direction, then you need to walk away.
  • Have compassion for the vulnerable; poor, orphans, sick.  Take action & serve them often.
  • When you pray for your kids, don’t pray for a storm-free life.  Pray that they will grow deep roots that withstand tough storms.  Storms are inevitable.
  • Real strength is found in serving, not in being served
  • Believe in God for too much rather than too little
  • The power of the tongue for good or evil.  Your words have huge impact.  James 3:1-12
  • The importance of good manners and common courtesies
  • God owns it all.  We are just stewards of the talents & resources he has blessed us with.
  • Develop a tithing habit early in your child’s life.
  • Keep your promises.  Do what you say you are going to do, even in the little things.
  • Under promise, over deliver.
  • Delayed gratification: self-discipline is the #1 delineating factor between success & failure
  • Discipline not desire determines our destiny
  • No amount of work can make up for failure at home.  Prioritize: God, family, friends, work.
  • Comparison is the thief of joy
  • Do for one what you wish you could do for everyone
  • How to handle failure and learn from your mistakes
  • How to share your faith; be salt & light in a dark world
  • Gaining a sense of God’s direction & calling for your life
  • Leave a legacy of holiness
  • Tame self-centeredness—you can’t always get your way
  • Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I choose to respond to it
  • How to handle your finances; strive to live debt free
  • A strong work ethic
  • Respect the dignity of other people—all people
  • Character is the basis of all leadership
  • Live by commitments, not by feelings
  • The importance of healthy habits; eating clean, working out
  • Wise people build their lives around what is eternal & squeeze in what is temporary
  • Generosity; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.  Proverbs 11:25
  • Family traditions and family vacations leave the most lasting memories
  • Establish your home as the place where your kids & their friends want to hang out
  • Don’t just be involved in your kid’s lives, have them also be involved in yours.  Take them to work, visit a friend in hospital, volunteer to help a vulnerable person, etc.
  • Coaching tips for your kids; you are part of this family, our family is special, and we have higher standards here, we believe you can reach these standards.  Don’t soft pedal high standards.  Don’t pretend it’s easy—do the opposite.
  • Look for teachable moments everyday where faith intersects with your real life.  Share both success stories and cautionary tales of people living out their faith.
  • Live life full throttle…create and conquer your bucket list.
  • Find a mentor and be a mentor through all stages of life
  • Joy is proportionate to your level of gratitude.  Philippians 4:6-7